My boy, my first son, it's been a year since you left us. It's been so rough. The week after, I was at work and your face kept appearing in front of me. I tried to go on and work, but couldn't. I sat and broke down. Billy walked over and said, "I'm sure Frank wouldn't mind if you went home." Through great effort, I was able to pull it together and said, "I'll be okay." I wasn't. I was just able to get through the day.
But a lot has happened. Your heart, the biggest part of you lives on. My boy, I'm so proud of you. You saved two lives!
You had a star named in your honor! How cool is that? Yet I'd rather have pointed up to the sky and said, 'Pick a star, boy. It's yours.' It wouldn't have been official, I don't have that kind of power, but in the eyes of a six year old, I do.
Your brother started school. You were looking forward to taking him on the bus with big brother. He goes, and we see to it he gets on and off the bus with big sister, but there's a hollow spot in between them.
There was even a trip to the zoo! I couldn't go, but I know you would have LOVED the animals, seeing for real the animals you loved on Go Diego Go and the Wonder Pets.
You're missed all around. I'm just writing this letter to let you know. Give God a big hug for us and don't give Him too big a headache. Give Grandpa Jim, Grandma Karen and Great Grandmas Dulia and Luella hugs and kisses too. You've gotta be the brightest point in Heaven to them.
Love you, boy.
Dad
Dakota last year for your birthday we had a Batman cake. Do you remember? You played with that car for hours. Barely even opened your gifts. Austin plays with the farm set you got that day. I miss you so much.
Dakota it has been two months since we lost you. I miss you so much, that I ache. Last night I was thinking about the fact that two months ago, we were having our family fireworks and BBQ, and you were sitting in my lap watching the sky light up, and laughing. After everyone of them you would give me a hug and tell me "That one was loud and it scared me." Then you would laugh like crazy and yell for Dad to light another one.
Two months ago this morning we made the drive to Nanny's house, and you curled up on the couch and fell asleep again. Then Zoey jumped up on you and just squished you, so that you would get into the floor and play with her. That dog misses you just as much as the rest of us do.
I love you, and I miss you.
I will always remember when i would come over on saturdays to visit and Dakota always would try to explain to me about those crazy kid's shows he was always watching. He would sit next and try to explain what was happening. And we would just sit there kid around with each other.
When I was in pre-school at Acorn in Mrs. T's class, I remember a big kid dressed in a large Clifford costume. He came in our class and Dakota said, "I like red and I like Clifford the big red dog". I remember Dakota hugging and kissing me and other girls too!! He got in trouble sometimes for doing it but I don't think he ever had to go to the principal's office for hugging and kissing the girls. I will miss Dakota! He lives in Heaven now and I live in Hot Springs.
